I’m usually not one for resolutions. Well, that’s not true. I like to make them. What I’m not particularly good at is keeping them, which is why they always seem to be the same three or four things: organize my kitchen junk drawer, eat healthier, save more money, exercise regularly, etc.

Probably very similar to most people’s lists. Boring, right? No wonder I don’t really have any motivation for any of them.

But this year will be different! No more falling off the wagon by the end of January! No guilt because I can’t find the rubber bands that I KNOW are in the junk drawer buried under packs of Doublemint Gum, miscellaneous screws and a mix tape from 1989! No more beating myself up because my Christmas stash of Godiva chocolate prevents any meaningful healthy eating until after Valentine’s Day!

2012 will be the year when resolutions are kept! Because in 2012, I will have (drum roll, please). . . a manifesto! A twelve point manifesto, to be exact, geared toward fuller enjoyment of this life.

To wit:

1.  Go to more carnivals. I constantly refer to my life as a carnival of chaos, anyway, so why not go to more actual carnivals, ride the Scrambler until I feel like I’m going to throw up and introduce my children to the joy of food on a stick?

2.  Eat more cheesy carbs. Why? Because they’re delicious, that’s why!

3.  Keeping the appropriate ratio of whine to wine in my house. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – the more whining there is in my house, the more wine there is in my glass. The trouble arises when the whining goes down and the wining goes up. I’ll happily give up the wine if it lessens the whine. But since that’s not going to happen any time soon, I’ll always have a bottle (or three) chilling in the frig.

4.  Be true to myself. I shall embrace my TV-watching, yoga-pant-wearing, sarcastic and funny self. And I shall not apologize.

5.  Stop feeling guilty when I lie to my children. Santa is a myth, and he isn’t hurting anyone. Telling them the toy store is closed at 2:00 in the afternoon on a Wednesday saves needless and exhausting tantrums. And locking myself in a closet and eating Oreos in peace and quiet all the while saying that I’m organizing the sheets is nothing but a little white lie to save my own sanity.

6.  Change my name – If I change my name to something my kids aren’t allowed to say (i.e., poopy head, stinky butt or Jets fan), then maybe they won’t say it thirteen bazillion times a day.

7.  More blog posting . I really enjoy everyone’s comments and nothing puts a smile on my face quite like seeing someone “share” one of my posts on Facebook (hint, hint!). And more than that, it’s nice to get validation that I’m not the only one whose kids make them so crazy they start pricing straight jackets on Zappos.com.

8.  Figure out what in the hell the song “Pumped Up Kicks” is about. Because right now,  listening to it just makes me feel old.

9.  Accepting, once and for all, that I do not like fish, my kids have sucked my ability to remember things right out of my head, and the answer to, “Would you like to see the dessert menu?” should always be “Yes.” Fighting against these things has led to intense internal conflicts within me, and I think it’s just time to give up that fight.

10. Take fewer pictures. Every year, I vow to take more pictures. And every year, I fail to do so. So this year, I will endeavor to take fewer pictures in the hopes that the element of reverse psychology will kick in. And even if it doesn’t, this is a pretty hard thing to fail at.

11. Keeping up with current events . I’ve renewed my subscriptions to People and Us, and added a TIVO season pass for Access Hollywood Live. A girl has to know what’s going on around her!

12. Being grateful . For everything, but especially my kids. Because even when there’s poop on the toilet, someone has cracked my phone screen and all the tape has been used to take action figures hostage, my family is the best thing in my life.

Please share your 2012 resolutions in the comments! I’d love to get further inspiration from you!

Happy New Year to all!