Being a mom means:
* Sometimes you walk into your living room to find that it has been toilet-papered like a tree at Halloween.
* You end up taking your kid to the urgent care at 8:00 on Saturday night because you can’t be sure whether or not he swallowed a piece of Lego.
* At least once a day, you will touch something sticky. It may be a kid, it may be a kitchen counter – doesn’t matter, as long as it’s sticky.
* You will never have enough clean socks or string cheese in the house.
* Sleeping in until 7:30 am feels luxurious and somewhat decadent.
* One day you will find yourself in line in a crowded restroom with your preschooler and they will loudly ask, in front of that crowd, whether you need to poop. They will not accept “be quiet” as an answer.
* You may one day find your 60” LCD television covered in purple crayon. That same day, all of your children will find themselves in bed for the night at 6:00 pm.
* Looking at your children most days and thinking, “Damn, they’re cute.” It also means that there will be some days where you look at your children and think, “Damn, they’re lucky they’re cute.”
* Telling someone to stop picking your nose. That’s right – your nose, not their own nose.
* The mere thought of taking 3 kids to Stride-Rite for school shoes will make you break out in hives
* You sing along with Laurie Berkner. In your minivan. Loudly. Without shame. Even when there are no kids in the car.
* You’ll pay a babysitter $12 an hour just so you can go grocery shopping by yourself.
* The amount of “wine” you drink is in direct proportion to the amount of “whine” in your house.
* You will know the theme song to every show on Nick Jr. You will get only the most annoying ones stuck in your head for days on end.
* Someone will always want to sit on your lap, but never so much as when you’re wearing something white and they’ve just eaten chocolate.
You should also add…
…you spend a Friday night identifying the U.F.O.’s (Unidentified Food Objects) that you pull out of the carseats while cleaning out the car.
…and my FB status from the other day, “L, please get your light sabre out of my butt”.
I love, love, love your writing!!!
True…all of it! Your blog makes me smile!
I like: You end up taking your kid to the urgent care at 8:00 on Saturday night because you can’t be sure whether or not he swallowed a piece of Lego.
That is so true. We try to watch our kids all the time, but lets face it, Mommy needs a timeout sometimes too!
Following you back from Milking the Issue.
Ah, this made me laugh because it’s so true. I recently wrote a blog on how kids only survive childhood because they’re so freaking cute – especially when they sleep! Thanks for stopping by and sharing in my hatred of Stinky the Garbage Truck.
This is awesome! And so true! We’ve had the late night ER visit – not fun. Although, I’m not sure if you’ve truly lived if you haven’t done an ER visit of some sort.
Fun, fun post!
Ha! Those are great and SO TRUE!
What about comments, “Mommy, you have marks on your skin.” Ugh … lovely. Or “Your arm is wiggly.” Sigh …
I came over from SITs to follow you. Come see me and return the favor if you want. :o)
Blessings!
Beth
Great list….only Moms can come up with these kind of lists…lol
Visiting from voiceBoks
Thanks, Becky Jane
http://riseaboveyourlimits.blogspot.com/
Oh yes, everytime I lean in for a kiss, I get my nose picked
Oh how true and I made me LOL.
I like the “sticky” comment. I swear that’s why my dogs follow my toddler around so much. She always has something sticky on her hands and she’s right at their level! Great blog!
Yes, all of these ring so very true… Especially the wine… That’s why I bought myself a special wine fridge when they were on sale at Target! 😉